5 years

Last Wednesday was Gus' 5th birthday. It's hard to believe for a number of reasons -- it feels like he was born just yesterday, and it's also felt like far more has happened in the last five years than should reasonably fit in that timeframe.

When I first thought of pulling out the iPad and writing some commemoration of the date here, it was 1:15 am in a motel room in Sturbridge, Mass, Gus was snoring and curled up next to me in one bed, Jamie and Wyatt were sleeping in the other bed, and I couldn't sleep at all. I was struck by the fact that five years to the day I had been snuggled up with Wyatt on our friends Tess and Doug's couch, trying to get some sleep while Jamie lay in a hospital bed, recovering from her emergency C-section. and Gus lay in the NICU in an unknown condition. Parenthood is a great journey into the unknown (I'm sure my parents have felt that in all too real a way over the past couple of years with me). We'll never know for sure what was happening to Gus in the few hours before he was born. Unfortunately, that has always placed a cloud of worry over him for us. At 3 and 4, his speech was a little delayed, and we never knew whether that was related to deprivation of oxygen. Happily, we can't get him to stop talking now. In fact, he usually wants, "toys with faces," so he can make them talk to each other. He's enjoying pre-school and will start kindergarten next fall; he continues to get physical and speech therapy but shows no other deficits than a slight lack of focus. He's a usually-jolly, at-times-stubborn, myopic oddball, who has helped hold our family together in the face of considerable challenges. This is the face of that oddball:

Gus' 2nd

Hard to believe it, but Gus turns two tomorrow (April 11)!

He's chubby and funny and happy and says, "Abi Dabbi," quite clearly. For those of you not in the know, "Abi Dabbi," is one of those phrases that can mean, "I took my socks off because they served no real purpose," "This interpretive dance expresses how I feel about the state of teddy bear-rubberduck relations," or "This is by far the best batch of fish crackers you've ever made," depending on the context.

It's also time for the March for Babies, so I have to do my annual plug: http://www.marchforbabies.org/kenshapiro

Here's a recent picture of the boys. We hope this finds everyone well.

1 year

Hard to believe it, but Gus is one year old today! Yes, we'll probably celebrate in July, too. But there's no denying that we've known him for one year today and that this will be the day we'll celebrate from now on. Developmentally, I couldn't even tell you how far off the mark he is. I can barely remember what Wyatt was doing at this age. He's sitting up, rolling over, crawling, he babbles a ton, and can really pack away the nicely-blended solids (still no teeth).

He's had some bowel issues, though really nothing different than most kids. And for a brief time, he was wearing glasses. But we had a more favorable second opinion on that and are just keeping an eye on it. (Groan all you want, but there was really no way to get around a pun there. I could have said we were watching him or that we'll have to see. We'll continue to monitor his vision.)

On this day, I can't help but be reminded of all the support we received a year ago (and since). Whether it was food, money, babysitting, or good wishes, it made our lives so much more sane in the face of so much distress. Fortunately, now we can look back on those days with alien fascination. Looking at Gus today and the joy he brings us is completely foreign from everything we were going through back then.

Better still, where last year Gus was in the NICU, this year we will do the March for Babies as a whole family. He could quite literally be the poster child for the good work the March of Dimes does. Here's my not-so-subtle link to shill for them:

http://www.marchforbabies.org/kenshapiro

I don't really imagine I'll update this blog again, but knowing we had so much concern and interest waiting here meant the world to us. Again, thank you all.

Ken, Jamie, Wyatt, and Gus

3 months/6 months

October 4 was Gus' 3-month birthday by due date, and October 11 was his 6-month birthday by birth date.

Any way you slice it, he's doing great. He had a follow-up with the cardiologist which showed his PDA at microscopic levels. Bottom line is that the prospect of corrective heart surgery in his future is looking less likely. So we're very happy about that.

And he's just feeling like a regular baby. He's rolled over a few times and is very smiley. His Occupational and Physical Therapy check-ups (don't ask me the difference in this context) have gone well. We have certain exercises we do with him, and it was recommended we get a Bumbo to build his upper body and neck strength. But, like I said, he's just our very chunky baby (over 12 pounds now).

Here are some pictures. Just remember, the camera adds 10 ounces.

1 month/4 months

Gus is four months old today. Last Saturday, he was one month.

So, yes, we're still caught in the preemie time warp.

But, overall, we're doing well. We're all getting into a routine, at least to the extent that we can truly plan anything. And Jamie and I are trying to take some time for ourselves each week to preserve whatever semblance of sanity we had in the first place. In a week, we're going to Vermont for a week and a half or so, though I'll actually be coming back to Maine for the middle portion (to work). Of course, that will mean time alone as well (don't quite remember what that's like) and a chance to read the last Harry Potter (no spoilers, please). Jamie will stay with the kids in Vermont (with my parents), so hopefully she'll get some her-time as well (not so subtle hint to the in-laws).

On a purely clinical level, Gus is also doing well. He's 9.5 pounds, as of last Monday (downright chunky, as you'll see in the pictures); he passed his last eye exam just fine; he passed his carseat test (which he had failed before leaving the hospital), so he's out of the carbed and into a regular carseat. That was kind of essential for the trip to Vermont. We didn't like driving anywhere with him before.

So that's that. The hospital is pretty much a faint memory. He's just our baby now and Wyatt's little brother. Speaking of Big Brother Wyatt, I think he's taking a shine to the little guy. Actually, for the most part, they keep out of each other's business, so everything's copacetic except when there's an attention deficit (not enough attention to go around). But we're all settling into our roles. Speaking of which, I need to go feed the wriggling blob on my chest. He can get ornery when he's hungry, and mom's at the store.

Besides, all you really care about are the pictures anyway:

3 Months Old

Last Wednesday (July 11) Gus turned three months old. While I'm training myself to focus more on his due date (as I said last time), it's also hard not to consider the changes that occur at three months. I remember from the birthing class Jamie and I took before Wyatt was born that three months is supposed to mark some sort of awakening in infants, where they truly become aware of their surroundings. And with Wyatt, I distinctly remember that happening. It was like a switch had flipped.

Sure enough, on Tuesday night I looked at Gus and he looked at me, and there just seemed to be this glimmer that wasn't there before. And he reached out and touched my beard a number of times (a memorable milestone with Wyatt).

Needless to say, we're all making good progress. Gus is nursing almost exclusively now and continuing to gain weight just fine (he's up to 7.5 pounds at last weigh-in). I still give him a bottle first thing in the morning, so Jamie can sleep in a little and so he can get vitamin drops. We're all generally getting about as much sleep as can be expected -- Jamie's up with him once overnight and then I get up at around 5:30 to feed him and get ready for work. The hardest thing is going to bed at a decent hour, though I tend to nod off on the couch at around 10:00 no matter what.

I think Wyatt's getting used to Gus being here and the idea that he isn't leaving. But the baby isn't exactly a source of much entertainment for him, nor a good playmate. But he's relatively happy doing his own thing when Jamie has to tend to Gus.

Very thankfully, my parents were here for the past two weeks, which gave Jamie and Gus enough time to work out breastfeeding. She and "the boys" had their first solo days last Thursday and Friday and they went smoothly. But I'm definitely going to have to make more of an effort to leave work on time -- I know how much I eagerly awaited Jamie's return from work when I was home with Wyatt. And that was with just one, her usually arriving by 4:15.

I'll keep you posted, but I'd say we're officially settled in.

Independence Day

Today is Gus' official due date.

That's really important for us, because up until now, it just didn't feel like he was supposed to be here. There was certainly no denying his presence, but it was hard not to look at him and think that he wouldn't "normally" be going through everything he was experiencing -- from eating to seeing (as much as he has) to breathing.

But now it feels like he's had a head start on all of those things, though it was just practice. Starting today, everything counts. "They" say that, developmentally, you should go by preemies' due dates. Meaning that even though he's almost three months old, he's still got that new baby smell. And we're not going to expect him to roll over any time soon. Though if you pitted him against any July 4th newborns, I guarantee he'd kick their butts on the Apgar. Bring it on, estimated 365,000 babies born today!