Day 5

I was saying to my friend Sue the other day (via e-mail) that despite all the energy focused on Gus for the past two months, his arrival home made him feel like an interloper in our little family of three.

But I'm happy to say that feeling has disappeared, as we knew it would. We're now a family of four.

The nights have been pretty good -- no repeats of Night 1. Gus had a follow-up eye exam yesterday, which showed that the mild ROP which had been diagnosed in the hospital (completely normal for a preemie) seems to be improving on its own. The visiting nurse came again yesterday, and he's up to 6 lbs. 13 oz. So even though breastfeeding hasn't been going smoothly (though it is improving), he's getting everything he needs.

Anyway, as promised, here are a few pictures from the day of Gus' homecoming until now.

Night Number 2

I'm not going to give you a blow-by-blow every night, but I wanted to let you know that last night went more smoothly than the first. At the very least, Wyatt didn't wake up. Unfortunately, nursing still wasn't working out as well as we'd like, so we may move to bottle for now (at night). And Gus likes to grunt a lot in his sleep. That did keep Jamie and me up a little bit, though, as usual, Jamie got the brunt of the sleeplessness. Yes, I will be doing some of the bottles.

Of course, that was just one night, too. I'm sure there are any number of variations we'll experience.

He had his first doctor's visit with our regular pediatrician today, and that went well. He's up to 6 lbs 12 ounces (by their scale, anyway). It does seem unlikely that he would have gained four ounces in a day, especially the way he's been eating. And he's 19.5 inches long, for anyone keeping score.

I'll send some pictures soon. Just know that we're doing fine.

Safe and Sound

Just wanted to let you all know that we made it home fine on Sunday. Everyone is adjusting to the new arrangement, but we're generally doing pretty well. Gus isn't nursing quite as vigorously as he was in the hospital, but he gained the proper amount of weight over the past day (on ounce), according to the visiting nurse we saw today. So that puts him at 6.5 pounds.

And big brother Wyatt is being very gentle and taking lots of interest in what Gus is up to. He's pushing some boundaries but not really acting jealous of attention Gus is getting. He's just being two, really. And I think he's happy to have his mother home, even if she can't be with him constantly.

And our friend Tess loaned us a great sling called Tenaya's Dream. Unfortunately, I can't find any good pictures of it. I guess it's just made by a stay-at-home mom. And it essentially consists of a long stretch of cotton that you wrap around you in a Double Windsor. Needless to say, I can't figure it out, but Jamie loves it. It keeps Gus in just the right position and tightly held against her chest, leaving her hands free. It's going to be indispensable when I go back to work next week. Though my parents are coming back from New Jersey for one-to-two more weeks of pitching in.

The biggest challenges so far have been feedings and sleeping. Well, sleeping at night, for any of us. Really, it wasn't that bad, but we were all up from 2:30 till 4:00 in the morning last night. Wyatt was very interested in Gus eating (more so than Gus, really), so we needed to get him his own milk. Tonight, I'll have it standing by.

Wish us luck.

Delayed Launch

Just because I know some people are waiting to hear about Gus' trip home, I wanted to let you know that it's been delayed a bit. Nothing's wrong, but the doctors felt he could do with a couple more days of observed nursing (since it does tire him out). Also, Wyatt has a bit of a mystery fever (probably just teething). So right now we're scheduled for Sunday.

Homeward Bound

Okay, so you remember how the nurse said she could see Gus coming home in a week? And I poo-poo'ed it as pie-in-the-sky?

Well, a week later, he's scheduled to come home. That's Friday, the 22nd of June.

Crazy as it seems, as quickly as the past ten weeks have gone, he's coming home. Actually, I don't want to jinx it by being definitive. So I'll stick with the more cautionary "he's scheduled to come home".

Starting last Saturday, he really started nursing in earnest, though still not getting enough to be counted as a full feeding. Additional milk was being delivered through his feeding tube. On Sunday, he took a little more by nursing and took the rest from a bottle. That was a nice Father's Day present for me, but not what we're ultimately hoping for, since nursing and pumping would be a schlep (technical term).

On Monday, he nursed even more, but it really tuckered him out, and he had to take the rest from his feeding tube.

But yesterday he was able to nurse almost a complete feeding, and today (Wednesday) he took more than he was "supposed" to. Jamie's been going in from six until midnight, so it's meant long days, but hopefully, it will all be worth it come Friday (as scheduled). I'll keep you posted.

6 pounds 1 ounce

Gus is officially over six pounds. That's certainly good news. Even better is that he hasn't been having as many spells, since they stopped giving him bulking powder in his milk. The idea was to boost his caloric intake, starting basically when he started getting milk in the first place. But apparently some babies tolerate it better than others. And his "reflux" may have simply been a response to that.

So he's able to nurse for longer stretches and take more bottles a day as well. He only gets milk through his feeding tube when he's absolutely bushed.

Also, he's just more awake. When I went to see him yesterday, he was up the entire time, and we just gazed at each other. That was nice, because I actually haven't seen him much at all this week. Without regular daytime Wyatt sitters (my parents are back in Jersey) and Jamie trying to be at the hospital for two feedings a day (6 pm and 9 pm), I've needed to come straight home from work. But it's an important time for Gus, just in terms of breastfeeding.

One of the nurses told me that he might be able to come home next week. But we're choosing not to believe that. Honestly, it's just unfathomable. It would be wonderful, but I think we probably need another couple weeks of him being this stable before we'll be able to treat him like a real boy.

Bordering on 6 Pounds

Officially, Gus is 5 pounds 15 ounces today. So, most likely, tomorrow he'll be 6 pounds.

Not that weight is everything, but it certainly isn't nothing. He's had a generally quiet week. His reflux had been a little worse but has settled down a little over the past couple of days. It's made nursing harder, but he has been taking a bottle. And tonight he managed to breastfeed 10 cc's of milk.

Still no word on when he'll be coming home. That's pretty much tied to eating (for 24 hours straight, without supplement from the feeding tube) and a week of spell-free living. He does still go through dips in his breathing and heart rates, especially after meals and when he has to poop.

They assure us that he won't be coming home until he's absolutely ready. As much as we want him here, we definitely will be looking for that level of comfort. You're paranoid enough as new parents without having to add to the panic.

Anyway, here are a few newer pictures. Jamie made the blanket.

5 pounds 1 ounce

Okay, so Gus is officially bigger than Wyatt was when he came home. I guess that's what you get for lying around all day and having all your meals delivered directly to your stomach.

But that life of luxury seems to be coming to an end. Gus latched on quite well yesterday and took his first drink. Up until then, he'd just been toying with the idea.

Unfortunately, that little bit of effort took a lot out of him, so we will have to take it slow(ly). There's the whole suck, swallow, and breathe coordination required, and the physical effort itself.

He'll continue to breastfeed slowly and supplement with the feeding tube. We weigh him before and after nursing, to see how much milk he actually drinks. Once he's taken to nursing, we'll introduce a bottle as well, so the nurses can feed him that way when Jamie isn't there.

So, overall, there's still progress. Gus has a little bit of reflux, but he's on medication for that. Just one more thing that is not particularly unusual for preemies. We always have to keep in mind the things he's doing now that on average he wouldn't be doing for another month.

The Continuing Care Nursery is definitely a step up, but it's a little cramped. And, because he's growing and in his open bassinet and awake more of the time, it's harder and harder to leave him. It makes us want to bring him home that much more.

But today (and tomorrow) are about Wyatt. It's his 2nd birthday on Monday, so we're having a smallish family party today (Sunday). It would have been bigger, but the weather hasn't cooperated. Still, he deserves some focused attention.